ഞാന്‍???

"നിനക്ക്‌ ആത്മധൈര്യമില്ല".

"നിനക്ക്‌ ആത്മവിശ്വാസമില്ല".

"നിനക്ക്‌ ബുദ്ധിയില്ല".

"നിനക്ക്‌ സൌന്ദര്യമില്ല".

"നിന്നെപ്പോലെ സുരക്ഷിതത്വബോധമില്ലാത്ത ഒരു കുട്ടിയെ കണ്ടിട്ടേയില്ല".

നിന്റെ ചിന്തകള്‍ക്കു പാകതയില്ല, രചനകള്‍ക്കും.

ഇല്ലായ്മകള്‍ക്കിടയില്‍ എന്നിലെ ഉണ്മയെത്തേടി ഞാന്‍ തളര്‍ന്നു.

"നീ സ്നേഹിക്കാനറിയുന്നവളാണ്‌".

"നിന്റെ അറിവും ജ്ഞാനവും നിന്റെ ആത്മസൌന്ദര്യത്തിനു മാറ്റു കൂട്ടുന്നു".

"നിന്റെ സഹിഷ്ണുതയും സഹവര്‍ത്തിത്വവും അഭിനന്ദിക്കപ്പെടേണ്ടതു തന്നെയാണ്‌".

എന്നിലെ ഉണ്മകള്‍ ഇല്ലായ്മകള്‍ക്കടിപ്പെട്ടു പോയോ?

കൂട്ടുകാരനോട്‌

ഓര്‍ക്കുന്നുവോ നീ
നമ്മളാദ്യം കണ്ട നിമിഷം
ജീവിത മാറാപ്പും
പേറി വര്‍ക്കുഷോപ്പിന്നോരം
പറ്റി നീ ഇരിക്കവേ
ചാരത്തണഞ്ഞൂ ഞാന്‍
ഒരു കുളിര്‍കാറ്റായ്‌
ഓര്‍ക്കുക "നമ്മുടെ കാര്യം
നാം തന്നെ നോക്കേണം".


എത്തി നീ പിന്നീടെന്‍
നൃത്തം കാണാന്‍,
വേദിയില്‍ നിന്നു ഞാനാടി-
തളര്‍ന്നൊരാ ജീവിത വേഷം
അഴിക്കുവാനാകാതെ,
മറ്റൊരു നൊമ്പരമാകു -
മെന്നോര്‍മ്മയെ കെട്ടിപ്പിടിച്ചു
വിങ്ങി ഞാന്‍ സിന്‍ഡ്രല.

ചൊന്നു നീ ഭ്രാന്തിയെന്നാ
ജനമധ്യേ, ചൊന്നു നീ
ഭ്രാന്തിന്റെ ഡോക്ടറെ കാണ്മാനും
കേവലം പേലവ ഹൃത്തടം
നൊന്തു പോയ്‌, സംഗതി
സീരിയസ്‌ ആക്കണ്ട എന്നുരച്ചെങ്കിലും
തോന്നിപ്പോയ്‌ "എന്‍ നാട്യം
മാത്രമാണുത്തമം"എന്നൊരു പൂരുഷ
കേസരി തന്നഹംഭാവമോ?
മാറീല എന്നുള്ളില്‍ നിന്നത്‌
സ്പഷ്ടമായി പിന്നെ വാക്കിലും നോക്കിലും

എത്തിപ്പോയ്‌ അപരന്‍, എന്‍
‍മുഖഭാവങ്ങളൊക്കെയും ശൈശവ
ചാപല്യമെന്നുരച്ചീടവേ
നമ്മുടെ ഭാഷണം, അപരന്റെ
സംശയത്തിയറിക്കു തീവ്രത കൂട്ടിപോല്‍
‍എത്തി നീ കഥ അറിയാത്തൊരെന്‍
മുന്നിലായ്‌, ഭയന്നീടരുതി-
വരൊക്കെയും ക്ലോണുകള്‍
‍പിന്നെയും സംഭ്രമമായിരുന്നെന്നുള്ളി
ലെന്തിത്‌ ഇവരെന്നോടിങ്ങനെ ചെയ്യുന്നു.


ഏവര്‍ക്കുമന്യ ഞാന്‍ ‍ഈ വേദിയിലാദ്യമായ്‌
നര്‍ത്തനം ചെയ്തു തളര്‍ന്ന കുമാരിത,
തേടി ഞാനോരോ ജനാലകളും തുറന്നാരോടാണി-
കഥ പറയേണ്ടതെന്നറിയാതെ
ഇല്ലൊരവസരമില്ല, പെഴ്സണല്‍
‍വിനിമയത്തിന്നറിയിപ്പൂ സംഘാടകര്‍
‍അത്ഭുതമിതെത്ര! ഒരു വഴി
മുന്നില്‍ തെളിഞ്ഞു വന്നാവഴി
നിന്‍ വീട്ടിലേക്കായിരുന്നു


പുഞ്ചിരി തൂകി എതിരേറ്റെന്നെ നീ
പട്ടു പുല്‍പ്പായ തന്നിരിപ്പിടവും
ചൊന്നിതു ഞാന്‍ പരാതികളോരോന്നായ്‌
എന്തിതു ഇവരെന്നോടിങ്ങനെ ചെയ്യുന്നു?
അന്നു ഞാന്‍ നിന്‍ വീട്ടി-
ലെത്തിയ നാള്‍ മുതല്‍
നിന്നോടു സൌഹൃദം പങ്കിട്ട നാള്‍ മുതല്‍
‍എന്നും നീ എന്‍ ‍സുഹൃത്താണു
മറിച്ചൊന്നും ചിന്തിച്ചിട്ടില്ലിതേവരെ


പിന്നെയും വന്നവരൊട്ടു പേര്‍
‍അവരെന്റെ സ്വത്വത്തിനു
മാനത്തിനും വിലപേശീടവെ
കേവലം ഞാനൊരു കള്ളിയായ്‌,
കട്ടതെന്‍ നിലീനത്തെയും.
പൊട്ടിച്ചിരിച്ചു നീചൊല്ലിയതോര്‍ക്കുന്നു
ശരിക്കൊന്നു ഞാന്‍ കാണട്ടെ തമാശകളൊക്കെയും
വന്നവര്‍ വന്നവര്‍ എന്റെ സ്വത്വത്തെ തേടി
പിന്നെയും പിന്നെയും ചോദ്യങ്ങളുതിര്‍ക്കുന്നു.

ഉറങ്ങീലന്നാ രാത്രി, ജീവിത-
നൃത്ത്യമെത്ര ദുഷ്കരമാണെന്ന്-
ഓര്‍ത്തു കരഞ്ഞു ഞാന്‍
‍ചോദിച്ചൂ രാജുചേട്ടന്‍, ഫോണിന്നങ്ങേയറ്റം
ഞാഞ്ഞൂലിനെ കൊല്ലാന്‍ ആറ്റം ബോംബിടേണമോ?


ആരെയും വേദനിപ്പിക്കുവാ-
നായിരുന്നില്ല ഞാന്‍
‍സീതായനം രചിച്ചതും നടനം ചെയ്തതും.
ഏകാകിയാമെന്‍ ചെറുത്തുനില്‍പ്പിന്റെ
ഏകകം മാത്രമാണെന്‍ സീതായനം.
ആരെയും വേദനിപ്പിക്കുവാ-
നുള്ളതല്ലെന്‍ പാഠവും വിദ്യയും
അറിയാമതെനിക്കെന്നറിയ്ക നീ


പിന്നെയുമെത്തി അപരന്‍ എന്‍ ‍പിന്നാലെ
ഉണ്ടൊരു ചോദ്യം സംശയത്തിയറി മേല്‍
‍ബോധ്യമായില്ലെനിക്കിന്നിതേവരെ
നീട്ടിവച്ചൂ മുന്നില്‍ ‍കടലാസിന്‍ കഷണങ്ങള്‍
‍നമ്മുടെ ഭാഷണത്തിന്റെ ഭണ്ടാരക്കെട്ടുകള്‍
ഉത്തരം ഞാനവന്നേകി, ഉണ്ണീ ശ്രദ്ധിക്ക നീ
പാഠങ്ങള്‍ വായിക്കുമ്പോള്‍ ‍അര്‍ത്ഥങ്ങള്‍ പലതാണു
ഒന്നു മാത്രം നീ കണ്ടു,
അങ്ങനെ നിനച്ചു, ശീലിക്കയുണ്ണി,
വരികള്‍ക്കുള്ളിലര്‍ത്ഥം കാണാന്‍

‍നിനച്ചിരുന്നു, അറിയിക്കേണം നിന്നെയാ
സീതായനം നടനം ചെയ്യും മുമ്പെ
നിന്നെക്കുറിച്ചുള്ള പരാമര്‍ശവും
പിന്നെ കണ്ടതും കേട്ടതും
പ്രവര്‍ത്തിച്ചിരുന്നില്ലെന്‍ പോസ്റ്റ്‌ ബോക്സ്‌
അഗ്നിയെ കോട്ടയാക്കിയ പ്രോക്സിതന്‍ കാരണം.
തുടങ്ങേണം പുതിയ പോസ്റ്റ്‌ ബോക്സ്‌
എന്നിട്ടാകാമെന്നുറച്ചു ഞാന്‍
കഴിഞ്ഞില്ലിന്നേതേവരെ നാള്‍ക്കു നാള്‍
‍പ്രശ്നങ്ങള്‍ കൂടിക്കൂടി വന്നതു കാരണം.
സീതായനം നടനം ചെയ്തതിന്‍ ശേഷം
ഒന്നു സന്ദേഹിച്ചു, ഞാന്‍ ‍നിന്നെ ക്കുറിച്ചോര്‍ത്തു

കുറ്റപ്പെടുത്താമായിരുന്നില്ലേ എന്‍ നടനത്തെ
വേണമായിരുന്നോ എന്നിലെ വ്യക്തിയെ.
അറിയുന്നൂ ഞാനെന്‍ മുന്നില്‍
കൊട്ടിയടയ്ക്കപ്പെട്ടൊരാ വാതിലും
സ്നിഗ്ദ്ദ്ധമാം സുഹൃത്ബന്ധവും
നിന്‍ മനമിത്ര ലോലമെന്നറിഞ്ഞീല ഞാന്‍.
മാപ്പു നല്‍കീടുക, വേണ്ടയീ
ചങ്ങാത്തം, ക്ഷമിക്കാനായില്ലെങ്കില്‍
‍നിന്‍ വീട്ടുപടിയിന്മേല്‍ മുട്ടില്ലൊരു നാളും.

A cyndrella story

He never happened to see her, but he loved her a lot.
She happened to see his photograph, she loved him more than any.
They talked for long time...
He proposed, she rejected.
She was a cyndrella.
Now, she is not there in his memories.
But she waits for the day to meet him.

Mandal commission Recommendations vs Hindu Casteism- An Over View I

Hinduism,is known as the world's oldest and third largest religion with a following of approximately a 1.2 billion people. The Indian subcontinent is home to 98% of this populace. Many of Hindus, are not aware of what Hinduism meant for.It is of course not a religion but is a way of life, an Indian tradition that encompasses several religious beliefs, cultural practices and ideologies. The exact date of Hinduism's origin is not known, though estimates vary from 3200 BC to 2500 BC. The term "Hinduism" is derived from of the word Sindhu, which literally means "dweller in the Sindhu (Indus) Valley".

Caste systems in Hinduism
According to ancient Hindus, the four varnas (literally, 'colors' ) or castes had equal standing in the society and were based upon the duties to society and worked together towards the welfare of the society. According to this understanding, discrimination by caste is a perversion of Dharma's true meaning. The original formation of the caste system was to create economic divisions so that ancient India could prosper as well the Hindu spiritual reasons. Each caste considered itself superior to the other. They competed with others in observance of purity rules to show that they were superior to others. Even marriages between different varnas were not rare. Just as it is possible to find upper caste people with black complexion, it is equally possible to find persons with fair complexion among the so-called lower castes and untouchables. This could not have been so without a significant degree of inter-marriages.

Modern Casteism
Caste plays a significant role in Hindu society; however, in modern day India caste-based discrimination is illegal. There were basically four castes: the Brahmins or priests and teachers, the Kshatriyas or warriors, the Vaisyas or traders and business class, and the Sudras or the menial or labour class who did everything from tilling the soil to scavenging and tanning. We first take up such parts of the canon that are (wrongly) interpreted to be supportive of caste system, and then take up such parts as are directly and definitively against caste system based on birth. Though Bhagvadgita (Gita) is not regarded as a part of shruti, Gita is highly regarded as sacred and is very much a part of classical Hinduism. As we shall just see even the Gita is against caste system based on birth, and not supportive to it.

As Hinduism, the origin of untouchability is also not known.There are many arguments behind it.The important three are as 1)The nature of the work of the Sudras, a lot of it unclean, was also responsible for their isolation and marginalization as untouchables.2) According to B R Ambedkar, there were only three varnas in vedic society, and no fourth varna of shudras. He says, the economy had advanced enough to give rise to a division of labour but there was no hierarchy. Both Rama and Krishna are black gods but highly adored and worshipped. He says that untouchability is a post-Buddhist phenomenon, which emerged as a result of Hindus giving up sacrifice of animals and beef-eating under the influence of Buddhism, but they went to such an extreme that those who continued to eat beef were regarded as untouchables. 3) After the invasion of Aryans, they punished Indians (dravidians)by keeping away from all social activities as untouchables.

Scheduled Caste
The Simon commission, which had no Indian members, was being sent to investigate India's constitutional problems and make recommendations to the government on the future constitution of India. The commission was an insult to Indians. These White men were to shape the future of India.Under Lalaji's leadership, it was resolved to boycott the Simon Commission. By the time Ambedkar was emerged as a leader of the untouchables. He, represented the cause of dalits at the Round Table Conferences (1930-32). Gandhi and other Congress leaders opposed the Simon Commission and asked the sudras not to support an untouchable leader like Ambedkar. Subsequently they sided with Patel, a leader of backward communities. The consequence of this move was that sudras could not get any constitutional safeguards. And brahminism was successful in virtually preventing these communities to speak on a single platform for their struggle for enfranchisement as they were not able to send their independent representatives to the legislatures. As to remove the culture of discrimination by giving equal status to all sections of the population, dalits has been provided reservation both in education and employment to enable them to come up in life and catch up with the traditionally more privileged members of society. This has been added to article 341 and 342 ( 341 for scheduled caste 342 for scheduled tribe) as scheduled article. Hence the name scheduled caste and scheduled tribe. Yet, ironically, the father of the Indian Constitution was a Dalit - Dr Bhimrao Ramji Ambedkar (1891 - 1956).

There are more than 130 million scheduled caste (SC) people in the country according to the 1991 census. They constitute over 16 percent of the total population. The States of UP, West Bengal, Bihar, Tamil Nadu and Andhra Pradesh account for 50 per cent of the SC population. Most members of the SC earn their livelihood working as labour on land belonging to others or in occupations like scavenging, flaying and tanning of leather and other menial jobs. They work largely in the unorganised sector on very low wages. Most of them live below the poverty line, earning less than Rs. 11,000 a year. Literacy levels of the SC are abysmally low - 37 per cent as against the national average of 52 per cent. The literacy level for the SC women is even lower. Not even 25 per cent of them can read or write.

Mandal commission Recommendations vs Hindu Casteism- An Over View II

Present Indian Scenario
If we look at the all-India scenario, dominant backward caste or upper shudra politics seem to have emerged in most of the parts of the country. It may not have the earlier strict non-brahmin movement traits but it has always addressed the political dominance of higher castes directly or indirectly. One can easily be reminded of the politics in Maharashtra, Karnataka, Andhra, UP, Bihar, etc, up to 1967 elections. But later there was a major shift in favour of dominant castes, whereby these states saw the emergence of big landlords dominating the political scene in post-1967 period.

Tamil Nadu, Maharashtra, Bihar have seen some sort of ‘non-brahminical’ politics continuously but the way shudra politics addresses the caste question in northern states of Bihar and UP in the late 1980s and 1990s again incite us to go into the dilemmas that prevail in dalit and upper shudra politics and their respective ideology, strategies and ‘roles after coming to power’ in the respective states. So far as the ideological standings of SP and RJD are concerned, they do attack brahmins, though the former is much milder. In their speeches, they do attack the brand of Hinduism which stands for communalism but do not speak against existing hierarchies which has been legitimised through scriptures like Geeta, Mahabharata, Ramayan, etc. On the other hand, the BSP leadership always refers to caste-hierarchy and the prejudices against the dalits and shudras. Though the Bahujan Samaj claims to include SC/ST/OBC/minorities, but BSP draws its main support from the SCs and the most backward castes among OBCs.

India’s gross expenditure on education now, by the state and central governments combined, is nearly Rupees one lakh crore or 3.52 percent of the GDP. The Government of India’s spending on education is expected to double by next year and go up to three times by 2009-10, from the current level to Rupees 1.82 lakh crore first and Rupees 238,835 crore subsequentlySince 1971, 15 per cent of all government jobs are reserved for scheduled castes. But these jobs are not all filled. At the gazetted officer level, most of the top A and B categories of reserved jobs continue to lie vacant. Under category A would be officers of the rank of Under Secretary to government and above, officers who would determine the policies of the country. In the B category would be section officers or lower administrative officers. There has been no scheduled caste Cabinet Secretary, the top job in the civil service hierarchy of the country. In 1998, Mr Mata Prasad, a chief secretary in UP, was tipped to be Cabinet Secretary and there was hope he might become the first scheduled caste to storm this bastion of the upper class or caste. But he did not get the job. An important reason why the scheduled castes do not rise in the gazetted posts is they join service at a late age and retire before they can reach the top echelons. Top jobs are also political appointments. So it is only in the lower cadres that the reserved quotas are filled.

Mandal commission Reports
Those who are vigorously demanding its implementation believe that it will lead to a reduction of social and educational backwardness and give a chance to live to the backwardness and give a chance to live to the backward classes who constitute 52% of the population of India. Those who are opposing it, with equal vigour, believe that the implementation of the Mandal recommendations will intensify casteism. Some like the Maharashtra Maha Mandal also predict a civil war if the Mandal recommendations are implemented. S. Y. Kolhatkar, writing in Jeevan Marg, while endorsing the recommendations, warns against organizing any movement to demand its enforcement, on the ground that this would increase casteism. The only panacea according to him is the development of a Left Democratic Front to initiate people's struggles against price increases and unemployment !

Both these elements attack the Mandal Commission for adopting caste as the criteria for determining social and educational backwardness. This charge is ill-founded. In fact, the Commission, after a very thorough scientific investigation has with the help of experts from various disciplines worked out to determine social backwardness. These indicators are social, educational and economic, and as the major controversy resolves around the caste criteria allegedly adopted by the commission, it would be relevant to reproduce the actual criteria used by the Commission.

Brahminst who are 5% of the population enjoy 50% representation in the Union Cabinet, in Secretariat positions, in Governors' and Vice-Chancellors' and ambassadorial jobs, that does not raise even an eyebrow of the so-called casteless society wallahas! 'Caste' cannot be used to deny social justice to a vast majority of the people; neither can caste be allowed to be sued to maintain privileges and positions grabbed and retained by a microscopic minority for thousands of years. The double standards by which the not-so-concealed casteism of the high caste is considered acceptable and respectable, while, 'caste', which has condemned the lower castes, the backwards, the dalits, the adivasis to a life of poverty, exploitation, injustice and humiliation is not be reckoned with, is a thoroughly discreditable posture and can deceive nobody. The struggle against caste cannot be side-tracked to perpetuate the domination of the higher caste. The struggle against caste is the most intense from of class-struggle in the Indian situation.

But the main thing is that besides reservations, the Mandal Commission has recommended certain structural changes. The Commission has sharply focussed on the fact that a large majority of the OBCs live in villages, that they are poor farmers, or farm labourers or village artisans whose 'business' has been completely destroyed by the Batas and Garwares. These rural poor are today completely under the control of the rich farmers and traders who have reduced them to a state of slavery. Their conditions cannot be change takes place in the relations of production. The Commission wants a change in the private ownership of the means of production both in industry and agriculture. The Commission wants a change in the private ownership of the means of production both in industry and agriculture, it should not be delayed. Even if the existing laws in the statute books are enforced ruthlessly and impartially, it would give considerable relief to the poor. At least, the strange hold of rich farmers will be loosened, if not broken. The Commission recommends that the Ceiling Act and other land reform statutes should be vigorously enforced.

Currently, whatever land is acquired by the enforcement of the Ceiling Act is distributed amongst SC/ST only. The commission feels that some of this land should also be given to the OBC. It is very heartening to note that the dalits who are likely to lose something under this measure are coming forward to support the Mandal Commission. It is a measure of the maturity of dalit movement that they are willingly and voluntarily accepting some sacrifice to promote the cause of the other oppressed section, the OBC. The dalit and the OBC solidarity, let it be understood, unites 75% of the people, suppressed, exploited and condemned to a life of degradation and humiliation. The Mandal Commission has opened the visa of such powerful consolidation of the exploited people. The Mandal Commission recommendations for Hindu OBCs are applicable to non-Hindu OBCs also, thus the struggle for the recommendations of the Mandal Commission can unite all the exploited and oppressed masses irrespective of religious divisions. Their struggle against high caste domination and exploitation can become the struggle against capitalist-landlord exploitation and therefore a struggle for equality and social justice.

A privileged class, at the cost of a little sacrifice can show some generosity. A class without any privileges has ideals and aspirations; for at least as a matter of self-interest, it wishes to bring about a social reform. As a result it develops an attachment to principles rather than to self interest. The class of caste-Hindus other than brahmins lies in between; it cannot practise the generosity possible to the class above and it does not develop the attachment to principles that develops in the class below. This is why this class is seen to be concerned not so much about attaining equality with brahmins as about maintaining its status above the untouchables...

In conclusion one can look back to the statement given by Ambedkar at Mahad: While the caste system lasts, the brahmin caste has its supremacy. No one of his own will, surrender power which is in his hands. Nor does it appear likely that the task will be carried out by other caste-Hindus. As a part of social reformation I do support the reservations based on caste system and I hope it will be helpful to the people who were kept away from all social activities (including education) for thousands of years to be main stream to cope up with the traditionally privileged people. It is neither a right nor a generosity towards the back ward community, just a matter of accommodating them. The caste system based on birth should always be discouraged. The reservations can be of financial basis. Anyway I wish for a better future for India.

Am I obstinate?

Everybody have their own opinions and views. Whether others accept it or not, they will stick to their opinions. Is it fare to interpret it as obstinacy, arrogance or defiance? I was always that kind of person having my own idea, views and decisions.

I must have been four or even less than that. We were staying in rented house near Kodungallore. My sister had a busy schedule with her studies of third standard. My little brother had learned to cry and laugh showing his toothless gum.

That was an early evening of a sunny Saturday. Pappa was away from home as he usually do. Mama was busy in feeding her baby. Usha chechy ( my sister) went out to her friend’s house. Lalitha Appachi got engaged in making snacks for that evening. I was the only one left out with no work.

“Ahoy, bring me a cup of rice water”

Papa came back home. He used to spell these words before entering to our house. He never called my mother by name. He used only “ahoy” a simple laconic. He liked rice water than any, especially when he comes from sun.

“Ahoy, bring me a cup of rice water” He spelled it again washing his feet with water which was already kept on parapet of verandah in a vessel called Kinti. He was wearing a dhothi on that day.

Sitting on his favorite chair he asked some thing to me. I couldn’t give any attention or I was not listened to his arrival as I usually do. I was in an agitating mood searching a missing spoon of my new kitchen set. I needed that to prepare dinner for that night.

I found my little spoon lying helplessly under his chair. I rushed to it and made an attempt to pick it up. My little hands were not long enough to reach it. I sat down on the floor and stretched my hands towards the spoon.

”what are the bushes coming across my eyes?” I examined those bushes carefully.
I was shocked. It was the thick hairs on my father’s calf muscle. It looked ugly and dirty. I felt so sorry and thought of the best and easy way to make my father as handsome as Biju chettan. (Biju chettan was in sixth standard. His legs were clean and pretty. He even used to wear short trousers).

It took only two minutes for me to take a decision. I pulled out those thick hairs with all my efforts.
“Aa…h” A long monosyllable in a painful voice came out from my father. It followed a “tup tup” voice on my butt. Mama and Lalitha appachi came out enquiring what was happening there in verandah. As to papa’s reply they smiled at me and turned back to their own work.
I could not understand what the hell was going around. I could not understand what prompted my papa to beat me for no reason? With watering eyes I went out to play ground.
Am I obstinate? you decide after reading my next blog.